SHARED
DECISION MAKING
"I would never recommend [that doctor] to anyone. I never
even MET him. … He was a doc who had a lot of patients
at the assisted living facility. He was recommended, so as long
as they recommended him, I felt like it was in everyone's best
interests. …I did [try to reach him], and I mostly spoke
to his nurse practitioner. …I thought she was rather matter
of fact. ...So I really don't feel like it was a patient-doctor
conversation in that it was…uncaring. It felt very uncaring.
I felt like I was really interrupting her in her busy day because
the doc was not available. "
-daughter of a woman in her 70s with cancer
"And I said, 'I'm watching and I know [my father's] going
down. You are not to give him any false hope and PRETEND like
the treatment can help, 'cause you really don't know that, do
you?' And [the doctor] said, 'No.' I said, 'You can't promise
him anything.' I said, 'In fact, the treatment could make him
worse, couldn't it?' He said, 'Yes.' I said, 'Because if he's
throwing up and he's weak, and you had to give him medicine
to counteract that.' I said, 'I'M WATCHING and I see, NOT YOU!'
So I said, 'Unless you can definitely say where it spread and
a whole bunch of information and you feel it can be slowed down
or stopped and that his quality of life is not going to be impaired,'
'cause treatment could actually put him in the bed. And he said,
'Well, I can't promise.' I said, 'I know you can't.' I said,
'So when you talk to him, you're going to have to give him false
hope,' 'cause doctor's do that. …And I know I was right,
'cause like I said, I had watched him."
-daughter of a man in his 70s with cancer
